Hello local-opinion,
I found this letter near the MOC and wasn’t sure where to take it. Would you know?
Thank you,
Bill Kessler
My name is Will Cheatum. It has come top my attention that
you have relaxed your bidding procedures recently and therefore I would be
interested in bidding on some contracts. The money seems to be in sewer
separation here. This is a large undertaking so I have partnered with my friend
Screwy Dewey and my brother-in-law Dono Howe to form Dewey, Cheatum and
Howe, Utility contractors.
We do not yet have any equipment, employees or even an office. We’ve never done this type of work before but hey, how hard can it be?
We have some capital of our own but are not willing to risk that on YOUR projects
.
Rather
than buy equipment we will rent it in case get the job half done and decide
that we are not making enough money or that we just don’t want to do it
anymore.
Our
initial bids will probably be higher than our competitors but we will negotiate
to a certain point provided you agree to consider ONLY OUR BID. We will also
need to have all the contracts on this work for the next 16 years. If we decide
that we’re not making enough money we give you 6 months notice and quit. If you
try to get rid of us by simply withholding payment we will stop work
immediately but still sue you for payment. We think that is pretty fair.
This
will be great for local business because we will tear up streets while people
are at work and not let them go home until very late at night. I’m sure that
will help the hotel and restaurant businesses. We will also damage a lot of
property giving work to contractors, body shops and others. This should not be
a problem since your insurance will pay for it. (We don’t have any)
Let
us know when we can start negotiations as we need a signed contract within 30
days.
Sincerely,
Will
Cheatum, Founder and CEO
Dewey,
Cheatum and Howe